A few nights ago- this was my bedtime kiss.
I was working- he was headed to bed.
This is pretty typical.
Either way- its what you get for today as today is all work no play:)
I had planned to work on the house all weekend- I guess I put it off. But- I did help Josh’s mom at her house and that made me feel a lot better. I can’t believe how quickly I’ve become a part of their family- it makes me feel so great inside. In my marriage to the ex the family was distant- they never really gave me a chance- they didn’t want to like me. So now, having Josh’s mom in my life is amazing- shes so sweet to me- and I truly am thankful for that.
Now, I’m knee deep in marketing, proposals and PR.
Josh got great news today, and I am so proud of his accomplishments. Its like having a kid- I want to put a gold star on his forehead when he comes home and wrap my arms around him.
I’m watching “Glory Days” while I work. I have to have things going for noise.
My to-do list is intense and this background noise definitely lightens the mood.
I’m glad its Thanksgiving, most people have slowed down- I’m personally speeding up. I want to accomplish as much work over this holiday as possible.
Sorry this is so scattered.
I can’t even sort out my brain.
Regardless- Life really is good.
We’ve been through a lot.
More than most couples ever go through emotionally in their first few years- and we’ve managed to hit it in the first few months.
I want to handle everything that is going on in my life right now with as much maturity and fairness as I can.
We’ve made it through a lot- we decided a long time ago nothing can touch us.
I remember when every day was like this…
When you are left alone with nothing but your thoughts I find it is only then at which one can truly determine what weighs heavily on their heart.
It’s late.
It’s silent.
I sit disconnected from the world. Yes, I can hook up my laptop and connect myself to the Internet at any moment- only no part of me wnats to. I want to sort out my mind.
I want to cry.
I want to hurt.
I need to hurt.
I want to let go of all of this anger that I’ve been holding inside.
I’m not sure at what point my life shifted.
I’m not sure at what point I decided I wasn’t to meant to be some man’s shadow. Some other person’s “possession”…
I’m not sure at what point I decided that giving to others was more important than having for myself. But I did.
Relationships- whether they are friendships, business relationships, romantic, familial- or otherwise must be maintained.
They must be nourished, and fed, and well taken care of.
I’m not so sure I’ve been good at that.
You must appreciate that they are there- and know when to tackle an issue within the confines of those relationships head on.
Children run from their problems.
Children throw temper tantrums.
Children don’t recognize or appreciate that which is right in front of them.
They don’t see it until they reach adulthood.
Becoming an adult opens doors for us all which we never realized existed.
Becoming an adult entails accepting responsibility, it calls for honesty, integrity, and sacrifice.
Adulthood means that even though we stay true to ourselves that we abandon childish ways and actions.
It means we recognize our control over our own future, environment, and lifestyle.
Sometimes for me personally its putting away something fun in exchange for work, or something I don’t exactly want to do with the knowledge that down the line it will pay off.
What reasons do we have to hold on to our youth?
Fear?
Obstinance?
lack of desire to take on responsibility?
immaturity?
Whatever the reason- it is important for us to look at the obvious- we MUST grow up.
Where does our youth go?
It does not, rather it manifests itself in our children, then our grandchidlren, adn so forth until our bodies are no longer on this earth.
Does that mean we give up fun?
No- it means we learn to have fun responsibly.
We learn to balance our playtime with our jobs and adult responsibilities.
We learn to write checks, pay bills, budget money, and put things into perspective. We learn to be realistic- we learn to set goals- we learn to believe in ourselves- we learn to be ourselves- we learn ourselves.
We take care of our bodies, we appreciate our families, and we respect everything we’ve been blessed with.
Life, is about growth and change.
If you combine that with ambition you can move mountains.
I am the captain of my own ship, and I know where it is headed.
I am strong.
I am capable.
I’m ambitious.
I won’t be brought down- not now, not ever.
Sometimes in our adult lives we just learn to cut our losses. We can’t change others- we can only better ourselves.
Regardless, I have no regrets.
I had an off day today.
I was poopy. I worked a lot. In fact I am still working that isn’t going to change.
Regardless…
It was just a weird day- where everything upset me.
I had to go to the doctors office.
I just want my life, and my hormones back.
So, for Christmas, my Dad is getting me this to go in my bedroom (this is also part of my whole swearing off men, redoing my condo thing). I LOVE LOVE LOVE it, and I will actually have a place to do my makeup… but it doesn’t come with a stool. Poo.
Wait, Wait- TARGET has one with a stool. I’m going to post a photo of it.
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As you all know I’ve been sick- hospital style. In and out, in and out. I’m still not completely cleared of this ridiculousness and have been forced to take it easy.
Riding in the car for long periods of time KILLS me- so basically I avoid it.
Josh had to go home 45 minutes to an hour away for a birthday party and to just hang out at our cabin. (our cabin- I say that now for the hell of it- though he does too- so yea- Idk- life changes)…
Either way- he’s out at the cabin and going to his best friend since childhood’s daughter’s 12th birthday. Before he left he had to make a drugstore run for me to pick up my prescriptions. While he was there he made the executive decision to get Abby- who turned 12 today a gift. The gift you ask? A princess tiara, fake earrings and a necklace.
He came home- so proud, and I was like- Josh- she’s 12. This isn’t going to work. I had to dig through my arsenal of gifts I have on demand for instances such as these and I managed to make her a nice little goodie bag I think she’ll really enjoy! First of all it contained an “Are you smarter than a 5th grader” television plug in game- fun. I threw in a couple of fun Sponge Bob Square Pants notebooks, pens, pencils, erasers, and the best part of all…this DIY necklace kit. Little Windows is adorable- it just wasn’t something I’d wear and I was hoping to do it with precious Eva- but I worry she’s too young- being 4. The kit said 14 and up but we’re confident Abby can handle it. So I can’t wait to see her reaction to creating her own photo necklace. At 12 I imagine that’s pretty rad.
About Little Windows
“I’m Fran, creator of Little Windows, and I love what I do. Here’s how this all came to be: If you’re anything like me, you’ve got tons of digital pix on your hard drive just looking for a way out. I loved the idea of photo jewelry, and tried to find something that really showcased my photos and fit my style, which is not vintage. I’ve been working with resins for years, and in 2006 started making photo pendants for myself.
You would not believe the response I got just wearing them out on the town. Not only moms, but trendy store clerks, cool dads, even the cute guys behind the counter at the Hollywood Arclight wanted to know where I got them. So I started crafting custom pieces and Little Windows was born.
After many months of research, and a ho-lotta experiments gone awry, I got to a point where it became easy because I had the right components, tools, and techniques. My friends and I were having so much fun making Little Windows, that creating a Kit (so you could too) seemed like an obvious next step.
With a helpful background in product development and graphic design, and the support of my creative family, I’ve been able to develop something wonderful and fulfilling that I hope you’ll love! The purpose of this blog is to bring you fun ideas, cool projects, extra information, to answer common (and not so common) questions, and give you a peek inside Little Windows.”
After looking at it and playing with the software this makes a great gift for grandmas, teens, and anyone who loves arts, crafts and jewelry. I think its worth the $48. If you want to head on over to the store and purchase anything over $25 just let them know that Samantha Hunt sent you! Once your addicted to the arts, crafts and DIY project ideas and even video tutorials on the site- you can refer your friends too and get $10 little window bucks to spend for each referral.
What happened to the princess tiara you ask?
Well first, Josh learned to read the age group on toys today.
He also learned that the princess crown is appropriate until about 8, and then we break it out again around our 21st birthday and on after…I couldn’t really explain that. But the best way to put it was that 12 is hitting puberty almost and she is looking at boys and wanting makeup- so the little 5 year old toy wasn’t cutting it.
After that- I explained to him that growing up as the older sister my sister always got gifts when I did- so as not to step on toes or hurt her feelings. Her gifts were NEVER as cool as mine. EVER. But she still got something. So we packaged the tiara and a few other odd fun items for Libby, Abby’s 7 year old younger sister and I sent Josh on his way.
Because Josh had purchased that tiara he got Abby a princess themed card. So, on Libby’s bag I wrote: “Just because it isn’t your birthday that doesn’t mean you aren’t a little princess” <3 Sam and Josh.
I think he appreciated it. Hopefully the girls won’t be disappointed.
